Don’t use the “F” word! We’re talking Emotional Health

Now before you all shut me off, just listen. I’m talking about FEELINGS! Whenever someone would ask me how I’m FEELING, I would always answer in reference to the physical – I’m hot, I’m tired, I’m good! Emotions never played into the equation.

Today I’m going to talk about something that I personally didn’t prioritize for much of my life: emotional health. For years I focused on the tangible aspects of health—nutrition, exercise, and sleep while overlooking the importance of emotional well-being. Being raised by a British mother, that wasn’t something that ever came into play. You press on, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and never let em see you cry. But if we are looking to have truly fulfilling lifespans and healthspans into our 80’s 90’s and beyond, it will requires more than just physical health; it requires a strong foundation of emotional well-being.

Being predominantly left brained, I rarely focus on or pay any attention at all to the emotional side of things when thinking about health. Although I realize that it’s critically important and the older I get, the more this aspect of health seems to be rearing it’s head – especially in my clients.

As I began to consider emotional well-being, it became apparent to me that What’s the point of living longer if you’re not happy, and perhaps more importantly, if the people you care about aren’t happy when you’re around? I spoke in past shows about not being able to move and just sitting around all day as we age, but if we aren’t actually enjoying life, is that really Quality Aging? If our family dreads the sight of us, or stops inviting us to family gatherings because we’re so miserable to be around, how does that play in the actual quality of our older years?

Emotional health is not just the cherry on the parfait. It’s a critical component to our overall well-being. It not only affects our physical health, but it affects how we minister to others. Let’s face it, if you’re miserable and angry inside, it’s very difficult to listen and help those around you when they come to you for support.

But there’s no blood test or bio markers to help us measure this one. It is arguably the most challenging aspect of health to quantify. A big problem for my left brain! So what to do?

I suggest two simple questions:

·        On average, how do I feel? Happy, sad, depressed, angry, frustrated?

·        On average, how do I make the people around me feel? Are people more energized for having been around you or are they making excuses to get away?

Let’s face it, all the other factors we’ve spoken about up until now rely, to some extent, on emotional health. If you are depressed, you’re less likely to get up and go to the gym or work out. If you’re angry or stressed, you’re definitely affecting your gut and its health. If you’re frustrated and anxious, there’s no way you’re going to get a good night’s sleep. So we can see how integrated this all is. That’s Holistic health – taking EVERY aspect into consideration.

And get this - unlike for cognitive and physical health, there is no biological phenomenon that would cause emotional health to decline with age.

In fact, there’s no reason it can’t improve as we grow older. So we need to think about ways to improve it. Perhaps getting involved with a group that appeals to your passions, whatever they are: golfing, sewing, working with animals, working with children – there are hundreds of ways to engage with others that will take our focus off ourselves. And being retired, one thing we all have is AVAILABILITY! And volunteer organizations LOVE that!

By prioritizing emotional health, we dramatically improve our healthspan, without which, extended lifespan might feel like more of a curse than a blessing. So I’d encourage you this week, pay attention to how you’re feeling. And then, if it isn’t ideal, find a way to change it. In some cases, this may involve counseling. But if you really want to live your best life, it’s worth it to begin today. Find one thing that will help you emotionally, and LET'S GET BETTER!

CALL ME!